Overexposed

Im currently sitting here at the screen, pondering what witty, charming, and utterly insightful opening I should begin with to entrance you, dear reader, to want to continue reading. Should I start with the cliched but ever useful "It was a long time ago in a land far away...."? Should I go more post-modern and start at the end? Maybe you would like it better if I brought you dinner first? Yet, I suppose I will start conventionally with a heart felt 'Welcome'!

If I were a cruel person, I would end this post here, yet unfortunately the blogging decorum dictates that I write more, yet before I move on to the purpose, perhaps a schedule? Lets start with an oath: I, Heather Lobb, solemnly swear that for the remainder of the year, that I shall post once a day on the following itinerary; Mondays: Why Must.... Tuesday: The Awkward Moment When... Wednesday: 10 Reasons Why... Thursday:  I Hate.... Friday: DAFUQ . Saturday: Shit my Friends Say. Sunday: A Theory a Day

Now, thats enough dillydallying for one post, shall we?

I saw this girl last week at the shops, and I swear, her jeans were so short, I saw her...'Area' (If you know what I'm saying!) and I swear, I almost lost my lunch. So, Why Must....girl's today feel the need to expose everything but there 'holy-grail' to the public? What is it with this generation and their desire to expose themselves every. single. day. I get it, you feeling fine, you've been going to the gym all week, upload your 'Boob-Shots' to facebook and got a fake tan that makes you look like a traffic gone; your 'The Shit'. Yet, if I may be so bold as to speak to the generation of 'booty-shakers'...., no offense intended, but you look like a Hoe. I beg of you, put your ass back in your shorts! Better yet, make sure if your going to bend down in the shopping aisle right in front of me, that your shorts cover more then your underwear! We know you have a gluteus maxim-us, and sure its very pretty, but I don't want to see it while Im doing the groceries with my parents. 

Another thing, Why Must....girls post pictures of themselves on facebook, with there tops hanging preciously low, and tag lines like 'Innocent ;)' and then get mad and defensive when someone comments on there...'Large tracks of land'(Yes, That was A Holy Grail Reference). Seriously, you look moronic. Stop it. If you want to demean yourself, thats O-Kizay, but seriously, don't get stuck up when someone makes a pass. Or I will hit you. In the face. With a chair. 

How can we fix this increasingly ridiculous epidemic before it gets to boiling point? I would suggest a nuclear take down...some might think that its a tad extreme. So perhaps, ladies(If that is indeed what you are), you may wish to stop shopping in the children's isle, buy clothes that are big enough for you and gain some self-respect? For the rest of us unfortunate observers, I suggest that you tuck your head between your legs and pray for the end. 

I seriously believe its time for a 'Slut-Intervention'. 

Adios Amigos, Keep Reading!